Brian is my nephew, and he was harshly taken from us with no warning at all. He was viciously murdered by an evil mind and unleashed fury.

In my broken heart he's a little boy lost, taken far too soon. Brian was not an angel. But he wasn't evil either. He did not deserve what he got. He did not deserve the indignity dealt to him by a demon armed with a rifle who would cowardly attack an unaware man. Brain died for the defense of a beaten girl. He was only 21. That's so very young. He was a grown man when he died but I just can't stop seeing him as a little boy. And every shred of my soul is aching for the loss of that child. It aches for the agony my sister and nieces feel. If I could heal their devastated hearts I most surely would. But I can't even heal my own.

I would like to share with you some of the things that endeared that young man to so many. Brian was just adorable. He was a dedicated jeans and tee kind of guy and wore sneaks. You very rarely if ever saw that boy without a baseball cap on. He was wearing one when he died. And when they buried him they put it in the coffin with him on his chest. It seemed to be fitting I guess. It was part of him. He had sandy blonde colored hair, very short and neat with a thin little mustache that  fit just right on him. He had bright baby blue eyes that sparkled with a gleam when he smiled. He had a very casual stance with a cute little grin that showed almost childlike glee and mischief but it had just a slight shade of shyness. He was slim, I suppose some might call him stocky built, not skinny at all but not fat in the least either. He was stout young man. 

Brian had an endless supply of energy and wit, almost like a wise little boy who dearly loved to have fun, a hidden wealth of knowledge he'd gained first hand by living a great deal in his short time. He had a quiet strength which could explode when riled enough for the reasons he felt livid about. He had an intense sense of freedom he reveled in. He was determined to go his own way and make the deepest grooves he could in the carving of his life. He wanted to be unique. And he was. He had his own sense of style and didn't care who liked it or not.  He also had deep sense of honor and loyalty that was sometimes hard to see but it was always there. He was really something else. God I miss that kid. This just hurts so very much it's indescribable. It's like a slow, quiet, unending and consuming agony you cannot suppress. It's a deeply burning ache that refuses to be forgotten. It can't be ignored. It simply hurts too much. I think back now of all the wasted years, years I could've had with him and lost. It's all completely unfair. That's a far far from inadequate word to describe how it feels to have someone you love taken away by murder. 

Brian was a simple country boy who really did  love to have fun. Like his dad he loved hunting and fishing and playing with girls. He loved being with his friends and just being a vibrant young man. He could go from bland presence to nosy poking inquisitiveness that led him to pounce on whatever had gained his heed. Those bounds nearly always led to laughter or head scratching confusion but you just couldn't help but smile. He could be sneaky or come right out and blow you away with whatever emotion he'd wreaked havoc on at that time. You never really knew what to expect from Brian. He could get unbelievably angry and when he did he would stand to fight the whole world if it took him on. But overall he had a very playful and affectionate nature. He was full of life and energy, full of giggling or irritating BS sometimes too. But he was also full of love. 

Had he been allowed to live he would've over time become one of the greatest men I'd ever known due to the given and gained qualities of character and ability he had in store. For the time of his youth he was a wild and free stallion heart striving to reach out and grab all that life could ever offer, not to be bound by any control. He went through rough and rocky stages as do most all young boys as they grow into manhood. He did make mistakes along the way, some of them big that quite often left us worried and wondering about what would become of that boy, but he'd found the point in his life where the solid foundation that was laid by his leading parents was beginning to shine. He had his father's spirit, courage of conviction and confrontation. He had a great deal of common sense, wisdom and values he'd gained from both his parents. He didn't always choose to show this and sometimes deliberately tried to be just the opposite of what he knew to be right. But deep down he had those principles. And he was coming home to them. He just took his own lively route around the world on the way. To be so young he could work on, build, repair, ride or drive nearly anything he could ever get a hold of. He had his mother's heart. He had his mother's soul. He had his mother's strength of psyche, a vital force. He had all of our love. Losing him will leave a great void in many lives. 

The day Brian was buried I lit the first of candles that would burn one at a time each day for those 21 days that symbolize the years our love had lived. This is the third day of my loving vigil. As I sit watching his candle burn with tears in my eyes, I can't help but wish it's glow would go on forever. But then with all my aching heart, I wish he had too.  As long as I live I will never forget the few words that staggered our world and shattered our hearts, changing us all forever. "Brian's been killed, he's dead." 

Those words took my total breath away and shook my soul to the core. Suddenly my legs were no longer there. I had to sit down quickly or fall. I felt like I was cast in a vast void of darkness grasping for some sense of spinning reality versus nightmare and wishing it would end. All I could see were the baby blue eyes and shy little grin of the boy who'd become a young man. Dear God what I wouldn't give for one more chance to hold him and say, I do love you Brian. I love you so very much little cowboy. I never truly realized the depth of that devotion until it was too late to show it. We miss you more than any words could ever say. We long to hold you with all our aching  hearts but can't and we feel the tormenting loss deeper than any canyon. We can never erase or ease the loss and the tremendous void we feel without you. But as badly as we miss you and wish you were here we would never take Heaven from you. So we will surrender you to God's holy care. 

Run in Heaven's peace Mustang. May your heart be forever free. May your eyes and smile shine as bright as the stars we seek at night thinking of you. May your sweet soul find rest. May your precious love be forever young and strong. When our teardrops fall as they do without end, we will close our eyes and think of you, hoping to see that little grin. It's on my mind so much. Please tender heart, heal. Be safe, be happy, be whole. Never feel pain again. Never feel sadness. Don't be afraid. Never feel alone. You won't be. We are with you as we hold you forever in our heart. And we know that you're with us. We feel your loving embrace. We love you endlessly and pray those true feelings be carried to you on the flight of an angel's wings. I can say these things easily as they are so strong for you. I just can't say goodbye. God help me, I do love that boy. It's so hard to let him go.

 How do you take a child from a cradle to an early grave? If you haven't experienced it you truly can't know how it feels. But friends I beg you, never think it can't happen to you. No one is immune.

" Mortuic paredium et vocem dare necessee est "
" The deceased must be protected and given a voice "

Call or write your congress. Ask them about Brian's Law. Send them to me to explain. It is past due. 

This young man's unjust death will NOT be in vain.

For information on Brian's Law, please write to us at the email address given below. I can be reached if directly addressed. 

Brians-Law@snbexpress.com

It's time we all fight back against crime and protect the people we care for. It's time we take back our rights. Please help us ensure justice is found for the death of our love.

NOTE: The sources for the information contained on this site range from statements given by family members of the accused, first account witnesses on the scene, and undisclosed sources also. At this time these sources cannot be named but they are verified accounts. The name of the man charged with this crime is certainly well known as there were several witnesses to the murder itself as well as the stated intent to do so before the deed was done. However in interest of reducing risk to the prosecutors case, he cannot be named here as yet. The man who committed this criminal deed will be referred to on this site as "the accused" or "the defendant" among other generic titles. He has been arrested and received a bond of $100,000 although no plea has been entered into evidence and the preliminary hearing for this case has yet to be held. Until such time as more evidence is presented on public record it must be done in this way. Legal purposes of protection to this organization and it's efforts to legally assist the due process of justice decree that I must remind, all defendants are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

 

 

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